Natural Disaster Day

You can always count on the television media for a good chuckle. Whether they are grossly oversensationalizing a story or just plain screwing everything up, they tend to regularly step in one mess after another.

This being said, as I was at home for lunch today I was watching one of the news channels. They were so interested in covering events that they had a split screen. Not just two events being televised at the same time, but four.

As I sat watching I turned to my wife and asked if this was one of the signs of the apocalypse. It must have been natural disaster day for divided among the four screens were raging wildfires, tornadoes, flooding and Obama and Clinton campaigning for the presidency.

… by the way, if you haven’t noticed the size of Hillary’s head (literal not figurative) look at her next time she is standing next to Obama. Her head is twice as big as his.

When Office Politics Fail

Don’t you just love office politics? Those annoying little things that just get under your skin. Thinking one thing while expressing another in order to accomplish your goals. The only thing worse is when you have to play politics with people who micromanage and don’t let anyone under their command actually be involved in any of the decision making process. All decisions on all matters must cross a singular desk where they bottleneck and start backing up and affecting all maters material to that division as well as some that aren’t … in other words, everybody in the organization starts to get a little irritated with said division that can’t seem to accomplish anything because everything comes to a screeching halt due to egotism and micromanagement.

That being said, I generally try to refrain from writing things on here that could inevitably get me in trouble, but this time I am making an exception because I really don’t care if I get called on the carpet on this matter. I’m willing to share my opinion and take my punishment if necessary.

Each fall at our small, faith-based university we have a new student orientation weekend named with a Greek term meaning "fellowship." The last few years the person in charge of this weekend, whose office just happens to fall under a major micromanager, has been polling the students to get a better feel for what could be done to improve the event which officially opens each new school year. The main knock on the orientation is that it feels too much like church camp. Needless to say, the school’s response is to try to make it feel more “collegiate” and less “churchy.”

This August marks the beginning of our centennial year and the person who is presumably in charge of student orientation petitioned the faculty and staff for theme ideas to tie into the school’s history. Our original school mascot was the Jackrabbit. It was changed in the late 1940s to the current nickname. We really have no curent mascot to use with our nickname because no one can tell you exactly what a Pioneer is supposed to look like. Just ask Utica College in New York. To make a long story short, I submitted the theme idea, “Embrace Your Haretage!” with a big picture of a jackrabbit … and yes I misspelled “heritage” on purpose. We had ideas of t-shirts with the theme and logo printed on them going to every new student and faculty or staff member that wanted one. There are so many things we could do with the jackrabbit to benefit the school in the public eye, and seeing as how I am in the Public Relations Office, we have discussed these ideas at length. A few years ago, our office passed out jackrabbit t-shirts during homecoming and the students and alumni loved them. They were asking for more.

When this idea was passed on for an informal vote among faculty and staff, the majority loved it. Then it went to the administrator’s desk. Needless to say the idea ran head first into a brick wall that remains consistently closed to differing opinions. The only opinions that matter are the ones that generate from within the wall. None of the “senseless graffiti” that splashes up on the outside of the wall will ever seep through.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want this to sound like sour grapes because someone “poo-pooed” in my potty. I couldn't care less who comes up with the idea as long as it is something students will accpet and enjoy. I even pointed out that the idea would work without the Jackrabbit just in case said administrator (who actually likes the jackrabbit … or so I’ve been told) thinks we are pushing to change the school mascot. Just use the theme “Embrace Your Heritage” and tie into the school’s history in any number of ways.

But as we all know, rabbits don’t fly.

Anyway, once the idea was officially shot down we were suddenly without a theme for our student orientation, and the deadline for getting material printed on time was quickly passing. So the great wall opened up and brought forth a new “collegiate” theme for our centennial student orientation weekend………. “Celebrate a Century of Fellowship.”

“… And may God bless us, everyone. Don’t forget to save your nickels and pennies for the foreign missionaries. Now boys and girls lets huddle together and sing “Come by Here” and don’t forget to be in bed with lights out by 8 o’clock … we have a big day tomorrow.”

Hey batter, batter ...

Kids.
Not a big fan of kids. I don’t really know why. It is probably because I am not allowed to beat other people’s children … or other children’s people for that matter. But still, being around too many kids makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I’m also rather over protective so therefore I feel like I have to be on the watch for anything and everything that could possibly harm whatever kid is in the area. This, to me, is rather tiring.

I know I’ve broached this subject before on this blog, but it comes up every year at about this time. While I don’t generally enjoy being around groups of children, especially at church functions where you are expected to treat every hellion as though it were an angel of mercy sent forth from the Almighty, I inevitably end up coaching girls’ summer-league softball. The last two years I have helped my brother-in-law coach his daughter’s team. This year, however, my child finally decided she wanted to play, so I am coaching her team.

My daughter is one of the oldest on her team. She plays in the 5-7 year-old league since she was 7 on Dec. 31. She is 8 now and is one of two 8-year-olds on the team. The other is a friend of hers who played last year and played pretty well. They both could have played up to the 8-10 year-old league and would have been successful at that level, but since this is my daughter’s first year, I thought I would keep her with the younger kids until she kind of learned the ropes. Her friend, therefore, decided to stay in the younger league as well.

Altogether, there are 10 girls on the team. They range from the quiet and shy 5-year-olds to the boisterous and out-spoken 8-year-old who is not my daughter. But they are all good kids. And like any kid they are seeking approval for their accomplishments from caring adults. Yet at this very impressionable age, you can already pick out the girls that are going to have trouble as they continue to grow.

I’m pretty lucky with this group really, we have several kids who seem to come from good, solid, two-parent homes. The parents love and encourage them and are willing to participate in their activities. Then there are others. One really cute little girl has a chance to grow up to be a good kid, but something is going to have to change or she will slip through society’s cracks and become another statistic. In an early practice I was talking to the girls about having their mother, father or older sibling just play catch with them so they can work on their hand-eye coordination and just get used to catching the ball.
“My daddy’s in jail,” this girl said. Then with a big grin on her face she added, “but he gets to come home in January.”

How do you respond to that? I said the only thing that came to mind … well, not the only thing, but the only thing that is appropriate to say to a 6-year-old … “Well, tell him he better stay out of jail because you need somebody to play catch with.”

Another girl comes from a broken home with a mother, father, step-father and who knows who else in the equation. She has a lot of talent and potential, but those involved in her life seem to be a little overbearing. Apparently she can never do anything good enough. They always expect her to do something more. She will do exactly what I ask her to do and then have to answer to her parental figures about why she didn’t do that one extra thing. We’ve played two games so far and this has had her nearly in tears at both games.

While working at a newspaper, I saw this parental behavior manifest itself in a high school basketball player. The girl’s parents sat at opposite ends of the gymnasium and continuously yelled at her throughout the game, no matter what end of the floor she was on. And I’m not talking about encouraging, well-wishes. The parents would joke about not being able to sit together because the other one yelled too loudly. You could tell that it really bothered the girl not to be able to perform to her parent’s improbable expectations. It didn’t help that she came from a very successful athletic family with an older sister who was bigger, stronger and more athletically gifted. And while this young lady was an excellent player, she would fold under the pressure of big games. You could see her physically become overwhelmed even though there was no need. There is no doubt in my mind this was due to her parents’ behavior. She was a very nice kid, but always seemed somewhat melancholy around adults who came to the practices or games … that is, until you paid her a compliment. I’ve never seen a kid’s demeanor change so much with one simple compliment than I did with her. She went form a kind of head-down approach to things, to looking up with bright eyes and big smile when I would speak to her.

My point, I guess, is that 5-7 year-old, summer-league, recreational softball can be an interesting study in child psychology ... and it’s probably not the most appropriate place for parents to expect their child to manifest herself as the next Cat Osterman or Jennie Finch. However, practices that begin at this early age can definitely carry over to detrimental behavior in later stages of life.

I just hope I don’t end up sending my child to year’s of therapy – not for softball related issues anyway.

Demopublicanism

I’ve had some interesting conversations lately. As our country tries to decide which person will be the best leader for the next four years, I find it interesting to get the take of people who aren’t from our country. Working at an institution of higher learning, I am privy to many international students.

I have spoken with three international students lately on the subject of who they would vote for if they were allowed to vote in our elections. They are a male Venezuelan, male South African and female Latvian. Granted I only got three responses, but the responses were quite interesting.

The Venezuelan simply said, “Anybody but Chavez” … in reference to his country’s political climate. Apparently the constituents don’t really like the regime in charge.

The other two, whom I asked on different days in different places with them nowhere near each other both said: “I definitely would not vote for Hillary.” Their reason was the same also. Neither one of them think she is trustworthy.

I have to admit, this is exactly the way I feel about Mrs. Ex-president, but it was really interesting to hear that from a couple of International students around 21 and 22 years old.

… and for the record, to all those weirdos who are clamoring for an Obama/Clinton ticket, do you really think that Clinton would ever accept the position as vice president? She would do everything in her power to be the main figurehead and would probably do whatever she could to alienate Obama within the party and to sabotage him at every turn in order to advance her own political agenda. She has no desire to be vice president. She has already been vice president. And she is way too narcissistic to accept second-place to a junior senator.

Random thoughts

Just some random thoughts …

 I was on the treadmill the other day. I finished my morning jog to Building 429’s Carry Me. A few days later as I pushed a little harder, I completed the time to the Wings classic Live and Let Die. I’m starting to wonder about the choice of music on my mp3 player.

 Jimmy Dean gave our school $1 million dollars a few weeks ago.

 Yes, that Jimmy Dean.

 I went to the store the other day and bought sausage. I bought Jimmy Dean sausage. Thought it was the least I could do.

 It’s youth softball season. I don’t know why I put myself through this every year. I would much rather spend my evenings being lazy.

 My socks are too small. Why do they come in sizes 6-12? That’s a huge difference. But what do you do if you have size 12 feet? The next size up is 13-sasquatch. Do you want your socks too small or too large?

 Our softball team is the Jackrabbits. It’s a cool mascot. I’m trying to get all the college kids excited about using the jackrabbit as our unofficial school mascot.

 We don’t really have a mascot. We have a couple of nicknames for our women’s and men’s athletic programs, but no mascot.

 It's rained here the last two weeks. I like rain. Except that it makes my grass and weeds grow and now I have to mow the lawn. Oh well, I still like the rain.

Second-grade Worries

I have to brag on my daughter a little bit. Closing out her year in second grade, she has significantly surpassed her reading goals and is starting to devour words at a prolific rate. This morning was no different.

As I was in the kitchen downing my morning regimen of medication, my young daughter was making her lunch in preparation for school when she offered, “Dada. I’m not going to have heart disease.”

“Really,” I say. “Why not?”

“Because I eat Cheerios and it says right here, (pointing to the box that was still on the table) ‘Proven to reduce cholesterol and the risk of heart disease.’”

Next step ... Med school.

Get Expelled

Check this out ...

GetEXPELLED.com - a resource website for EXPELLED the movie - in theaters 2008

I Are Educated

Talk to anyone who knows about global education and they will tell you that the US is lagging behind other progressive countries. It’s not that we are dumber than the rest of the world … well, yeah, maybe it is. I would say, however, that our smartest and most gifted are just as smart and gifted as everyone else’s smartest and most gifted, but we have fewer smarts and giftedness to go around. Call it what you will, we just don’t put a premium on education in this country.

Working in higher education, however, you like to think that most people have a general grasp of basic core knowledge. After all, everyone you deal with has a minimum of a high school diploma and has managed to score moderately well on the college entrance exams. Yet oustide these hallowed walls of higher learning there are still those who lack basic fundamental skills … such as simple, single-digit addition.

Case in point: My brother-in-law and I, along with a few other guys, have taken over the Optimist Club Softball program that gives girls ages 5-16 the chance to play summer league softball. The program was in shambles and was about to fold so he and I, mostly he, joined the Optimist Club with the express intent of taking over the program. So far, things have run pretty smoothly. We will have four leagues for girls ages 5-7, 8-10, 11-13 and 14-16. Take special note of those age divisions: 5-7, 8-10, 11-13, and 14-16.

We are currently in the process of registering for the upcoming 2008 season which takes place in June. Girls register for leagues according to their age on Dec. 31, 2007. This is plainly stated on all material that has been sent out concerning registration.

Yesterday I received a question via email concerning registration. The email read, “If my child is 6yrs old and her birthday is in August, will she be put in the 5-7 yrs old catagory [sic] or bumped up to the 8-10 yrs old catagory [sic]?”

And we wonder why all the good jobs are going overseas.

We've come a long way

In the ongoing saga of realizing ones mortality and the rate at which each individual ages, I must say that I had yet another revelation. This revelation being that one should take things at a more moderate pace once one is no longer immortal.

I’m not real sure what happened, but it involved an incessant stubbornness toward pushing oneself and the unrelenting, sadism of the modern-day treadmill. Needless to say, my left leg feels like it is going to detach at the hip and walking may no longer be an optional mode of transportation. But before you call me old, why don’t you get on a treadmill and push out 2 ½ miles in 30 minutes or less. It's not record pace, but it's pretty good for someone who is not used to doing that sort of thing.

Anyway, for the real reason of today’s post, I thought you might enjoy reading excerpts from the 1950-51 student handbooks at our small, faith-based university. In the pre-Cleaver era of homemaking and social norms, our fine, pioneering institution published separate handbooks for men and women. Needless to say, the women’s handbook was twice as long and dealt much more with personal appearance and behavior. The men’s handbook had smaller words and more pictures.

Under the heading “Wayland women and their dates,” the first paragraphs read, “Residents of dormitories must be properly introduced to their escort and their escort introduced to the (dorm) Counselor before dating. Each new escort must be introduced to the Counselor. Escorts will call for the residents at the dormitory. There will be no meeting elsewhere.” A few paragraphs later, “When cars are used for dating they are to be used only as transportation to and from the points of destination.”

There is no heading in the men’s handbook about, “Wayland men and their dates.”

And how about “Wayland women and the Lord’s day?”

“Worship in the Lord’s House on the Lord’s Day will help fortify, strengthen, and give wisdom to meet the challenge of each week. Residents will faithfully attend the church of their choice. Wayland women are appropriately attired for church attendance when they wear their ‘best dress’ or suit, with hose, gloves and hat. They are on their best behavior when they refrain from chewing gum, from unnecessary chatter, and when they contribute, individually, in every way to the worshipful atmosphere within the Lord’s House.”

Nothin’ about going to church in the men’s handbook.

“Wayland women and their dress”

“Residents are expected to dress modestly and neatly at all times, and appropriately for all occasions. Shorts are not allowed at any time inside or outside the dormitories. … Slacks and blue jeans are worn only on certain occasions and then by special permission of the Dean of Students. … Residents will not leave the dormitory with their hair rolled up. … Be alert to the styles of the moment as long as they are those becoming a Christian young woman. Watch your color combinations. Dress with taste and originality.”

You guessed it, nothing in the men’s book about how to dress.

Then we have the “Personal pointers for Wayland women.” I have just chosen some to give you an idea of what is included.
11. Be attractive! Cleanliness, good posture, appropriate dress and refinement are all a part of good grooming. (We all like our women to be well groomed.)
12. Refinement has no place for the boisterous and uncouth, or the blasé. (Can't stand those blase and uncouth chicks.)
13. Chew gum in private only. (But smoke, drink and prostitute yourself in public)
15. Familiarity shows lack of proper discretion and is out of place on Wayland campus. (I'm not real sure what they mean by this ... and I'm kind of afraid to ask.)

And, of course, there are no personal pointers in the men’s handbook.

But, I guess that’s not too bad for a school that in its formative years boasted in its promotional literature that “the town has no nightclubs and no negroes.”

Who says change is bad?

Gaming with grace

My sister told me the other day that I’m getting old. She always says that. Of course, she is nearly two years older than I am, so what does that make her … obsolete?

The latest episode that brought this on is admittedly a sign of aging, however, and is somewhat embarrassing. Not embarrassing in the sense that I suddenly discovered the need for adult diapers while giving an address to a crowded room at a donor banquet, but still embarrassing by other lesser standards.

It seems as though a certain affinity for video games has followed me into my adult years. And so, a couple of years ago, my wife bought me a Playstation 2 for my birthday. I bought a few games that I enjoyed messing around with … a couple of auto racing games, golf and things like that. But I decided recently that I wanted a good “butt-kicking” game. So with a gift card I received for Christmas, I purchased a Star Wars game. It’s pretty cool … or so I think although I haven’t yet gotten past the training portion of the game. You can play as certain battle soldiers or Jedi masters.

However, the graphics are designed as such that you have to run all over the place looking around you in every direction. The reason I haven’t surpassed the training stage just yet and the cause of my sister’s accusation is that the constant movement gives me motion sickness.

I can’t play the game for very long without feeling queasy and unwell. And for some reason my sister says that means I’m old.

… I’ll bet she wouldn’t say that if she could see me playing my video games while sitting entirely too close to the TV in my wife's small antique rocking chair.

Random stuff

• I haven’t blogged much lately. Been quite busy what with work and classes and basketball games and stuff.

• Not sure who I’m gonna vote for. I kinda like Huckabee, but his tax plan is a joke and he won’t get the nomination anyway. I don’t think Clinton can win a general election.

• We’ve basically had two families controlling our country for the last 20 years. Why would we want to stretch that to 24 or 28 years? I really don’t think that is a good idea. It doesn’t matter what two families you choose, we need some freakin’ diversity.

• I’m glad the Giants won and that is difficult to say as a Cowboys fan, but the Patriots are cheaters. Period. That is not acceptable.

• I wrote a research paper this weekend. It’s not very good. I basically wrote some opinions then found some information to go along with what I was saying. I didn’t even bother to read over to make sure I spelled my name correctly. I’m not really enjoying this class, can you tell?

• My daughter asked me if we had electricity when I was a little kid. I said yes and explained that we even had television … but no SpongeBob.

• I think I’m getting old.

"I see stupid people"

I just read an article on MSN reporting on the displaced residents of New Orleans suing the U.S. Government for more than $3 quadrillion. To put this in perspective, that is a 3 with 15 zeros behind it. What is this world coming to?

My wife bought me a t-shirt for Christmas. It’s solid black with white lettering on the front. It says simply, “I see stupid people.” I’m thinking it is quite appropriate for this situation. And for all those people who are trying desperately to find someone to blame for what happened to them, I have a few things to say:

1. The levies always fail. No exceptions. If the flood waters are rising, the levies will fail. You can count on it. Once the water reaches a certain level, the levies will break. It has happened over and over and over again and it will continue to happen because there is nothing manmade or in nature that can withstand the eroding power of water.

2. Contrary to popular belief, George W. Bush is not God. Bush did not call down the powers of nature to send a destructive hurricane to your doorstep. Bush does not have the power or authority to use the forces of nature to target specific neighborhoods. Furthermore, Bush did not build the levies and he certainly did not sabotage the levies causing them to fail. They do that on their own.

3. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you live below sea level in a coastal city … there is the potential for moderate to heavy flood damage. Come on, people. Grow up! I live in tornado alley and I guarantee that if a tornado rips through my house tomorrow I am not going to sit atop the pile of rubble crying until the president and government officials feel my plight and offer to bail me out of my situation. First of all, I don’t want splinters in my butt. Secondly, I’m smart enough to know that if I’m not doing anything to fix the situation, there’s a good chance that it ain’t gonna get fixed. And thirdly, since I live in a volatile area, I half expect a tornado to disrupt my life some day, anyway. I give thanks for every tornado season that passes without incident in my neighborhood.

4. Finally, and I know this one is really hard to believe if you are inclined to lean that direction, but hurricanes are not racist.

Needless to say, I’ll be one upset tax payer if the government uses my money to help these people who want nothing more than a free handout. I have no problem with the government stepping in to aid those who are working hard to better their situations, but I guarantee those people are probably not the ones who are filing multi million-dollar law suits. After all, some people in my part of the world are already paying for mandatory flood insurance policies in order to keep cost down for those who live in legitimate flood planes. That’s asinine enough, but it leads to another point that if they are going to rebuild, they should not rebuild below sea level. It will happen again. And again, the levies will fail.

The Virgin Birth ...

I had a thought as I drove to work this morning.

… that happens every once in awhile, but it’s usually only one thought because it’s a real short distance from my driveway to the office – just over two blocks.

As biblical scholars continue to study and pore over manuscripts and bits and pieces of ancient documents, comparing them to those already known and in existence, they continue to develop new theories, thought and pictures of Jesus and the Bible.

One such developing theory surrounds the question of whether or not Jesus was truly born of a virgin. Some scholars are saying that the original Greek word used to describe Mary in Isaiah as well as the gospels simply means a “good, virtuous woman” or something along those lines. Therefore the conclusion they draw, although they have no real evidence to back this up, is that Jesus therefore was not born of a virgin and that this “miracle” occurred within natural law. However, it is still outside the confines of Mary’s marriage to Joseph.

Fine … say what you want to say. Will it destroy my faith if Jesus was not born of a virgin? Not really. I don’t think Jesus' identitity and what He did and accomplished is based on whether or not His mother was a virgin.

However, the thought that hit me driving to work this morning is this: If Jesus were not born of a virgin wouldn’t that in essence mean that God condoned an act of sinful nature and used it as His vehicle by which He delivered the message and means to save all mankind?

The 10 commandments came about long before the birth of Jesus and commandment seven clearly states “you shall not commit adultery.” I may be wrong, but isn’t sex outside of marriage considered adultery? Don’t both the Old and New Testaments teach that sex is meant for the confines of marriage? If this is so, why would God, who is intent on His followers trying to live a life free from sin, use an act of sin as His vehicle for the salvation of mankind? Would this not give credence to those who say that having sex whenever and wherever they want is OK because God condoned the act of Mary?

Please feel free to weigh in with your thoughts. And I would especially like to hear Little David’s thought on the matter since he holds a master of divinity (or should I say divination) degree and a Ph.D. from theological seminary. And Little David, if your answer is too long for the comment box, please feel free to email me and I will post it as post in and of itself.

I scuffed myself

I rearranged my office today.

Stole a desk from another office.

Got everything neatly organizaed and in its place.

Suddenly remembered why I've spent the last five years using a desk with no middle drawer. ... It's a short world

Here's lookin' at you

Well, our little city, in the words of one local businessman, has “finally repealed prohibition” and ushered in a new era of sin and debauchery. An era in which the sin and debauchery is legal as opposed to the illegal sin and debauchery that we are currently experiencing. Tuesday’s election in our town included a referendum for the package sale of alcohol. It’s been a big deal in this town and pretty much caused a split right down the middle. The referendum passed by a mere 36 votes with an additional 57 provisional ballots yet to be approved and counted.

What does this all mean?

The proponents say it will bring new business, increased opportunity and convenience to our town.

The opponents say it will bring new business, increased opportunity and convenience to our town.

With a split like that can you believe that both sides actually say they are doing what’s best for the youth of our town?

Crazy, isn’t it?

Personally, I voted against it. I’m just fundamentally opposed to supporting any type of business that has the potential to destroy and ruin lives that are already in pretty poor shape to begin with if people are turning to alcohol for the answers. Does this mean I am completely against drinking and think that everyone who imbibes is in the express lane to Hell? No. If you want to drink a glass of wine with your dinner or have a beer after work that is completely up to you. I have no problem with that. I don’t do it because I know it would be wrong for me to take part in such activities but I’m not going to condemn other people for such an act. Many people will be responsible with their consumption of alcohol and it will never cause them a problem. But many more won’t. What I do have a problem with are the irresponsible people who don’t know when to stop. Therefore, I don’t want to support any business or organization that feeds their habit, making the procurement of alcohol easier and more convenient.

I think, however, the opposition to the amendment failed to win any additional support once they took the stance that, “We are doing this to protect our youth.” The group officially named themselves The Coalition to Protect the Youth. I felt at that moment that all money spent to fight the movement would be money lost because, in my humble opinion, once you exploit anyone or anything for personal gain, you are doomed to fail. But what do I know? I’ve just worked in newspaper and public relations for the last 12 years. I don’t really have a feel for how people publicly react to certain situations. Of course, no one asked my opinion. They seldom do and even more seldom do they listen to my opinion when I offer it, so I basically have learned keep my mouth shut … sort of.

One side said we have to protect our youth from the evils of alcohol. The other said we must increase tax revenue in order to provide them with more opportunity in our small town. Alas, silly me, I thought we should have left the youth out of it since they are neither old enough to vote nor drink. Perhaps it would have been more effective to ask people to “Vote No” simply on principle. Once you start throwing out statistics, everything you say can and will be rebutted by your opposition.

But it’s too late now. So I sit here in my office on our college campus, listening to the supporters clink their champagne flutes in celebration of their victory and the impending wealth that alcohol will inevitably bring to our community. With their hope and vision and promise for the future completely laid out and tied into the completely reputable alcohol industry I fully expect our enrollment to double within the next three years.

... Any Other Name ...

This is yet another entry in the “What’s In a Name” category, but many times the name is all you need to see the humor in a situation. Around here, we have one particular name that stands out above all the rest.

Our school has a long and storied history when it comes to women’s basketball. We were at the forefront of bringing women’s basketball to mainstream America. It was our team that played the Russians, traveled to Mexico City for international tournaments and our coach pushed to change the rules of the women’s game to a full-court, 5-on-5 contest. Granted, we haven’t done much in the last 20 years, but with everyone else, including major state universities, picking up the women’s game, it has been a little difficult for our small, private school on the dusty plains of Texas to compete in the recruiting game. Our team has had only three losing seasons in its history. Unfortunately, two of those have been the last two seasons.

Still, our women’s program holds the collegiate record for the longest win streak (131 consecutive games) and our program has more wins (1,425 including Saturday’s season opener) than any women’s collegiate basketball program at any level. That’s more wins than Tennessee, University of Connecticut, Duke, North Carolina or any of the teams mentioned among the best in women’s basketball. The only potential drawback, however, is that the team is named the Flying Queens.

Yes, it’s an easy nickname to make fun of and it has been on several national lists as one of the worst nicknames in college sports. But there is a good reason for the name. In the late 1940s, the team was sponsored by the Harvest Queen Mill which still operates in our fair city. With their sponsorship, the school decided to name the team the Harvest Queens. This sponsorship was key as the team began to build to its historic status. A few years later, a local businessman, Claude Hutcherson, began flying the team to all its games in his fleet of Beechcraft Bonanza airplanes. Thanks to his sponsorship, the team became famous world-wide, and the name was changed to the Flying Queens.

However, it’s the latest team sponsorship that has given me cause to chuckle. It’s not a major sponsorship. This group isn’t shelling out thousands of dollars to have their name on the team warm-ups, but it is enough of a sponsorship to pay for schedule posters and things like that. And in so doing, the sponsorship name appears on the posters. It may not be a big deal to many people, but its not every day your athletics team is sponsored by Kornerstone Funeral Directors. …

Note to PR flacks

When writing a script for your university president to be used while recording a video segment for the upcoming capital campaign and describing the campaign's focus, one should stay away from the phrase ... "growing our endowment."

No more taxes

I went from no fortune in the fortune cookie to this ... I'm starting to worry.

How will I die? Your Result: You will be murdered.   This doesn't guarantee pain and suffering, but it will be at the hands of another. Perhaps the vile deeds of a past life will attribute to this horrific demise. Do not fear murder. There is a rare epiphany that comes from this type of death. You will see it in the last moments.
You will die while having sex.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die in a car accident.
You will die of boredom.
You will die from a terminal illness.
How will I die? Create a Quiz

Fortunes

Went to lunch ...
Ate Chinese ...
My fortune cookie had no fortune ...
I'm a little disturbed by that!

Four Things

I was tagged by Rach to do this. So, here goes:

Four jobs I’ve held (other than my current position).
Grocery store flunky (Same as Rach)
Radio personality
Music minister
Sports editor

Four films I could watch over and over.
Pale Rider
Star Wars trilogy (original)
The Incredibles
The Dream Team

Four TV shows I watch.
Flip this House
Sportscenter
Seinfeld
My Name is Earl

Four places I’ve lived.
Whitehall, Montana
Roby, Texas
Antlers, Oklahoma
Hobbs, New Mexico

Four favorite foods.
Fried okra
Corn bread
Chicken fried steak
Egg rolls

Four Web sites I visit Daily.
www.wbu.edu (I kind of have to)
various blogs
That’s about it, really. I don’t do much Web surfing

Four favorite colors.
Dark Blue
Dark Green
Sage green or mint color
Grey

Four places I would love to be right now.
Golf course
Scotland
Ireland
Living in the White House

Four names you love but could/would not use for your children.
Maximus
Briana
Jupiter Moon
Wrigley

Now I guess I have to tag a few people so I choose: SmilyMama, Splineguy, Janie, and Patti