Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Because I have nothing better to say

Accent: Texan/southern. It has gotten worse over the years. When I was in college and spent a lot of time working in radio; I had very little accent. I had taken classes on pronunciation and things like that. I actually enjoyed speaking properly. But, alas, I fell off the annunciation wagon and am drowning in my cultural norm.

Booze: No thanks. Voluntarily tried a sip of non-alcoholic beer once and it was disgusting. I managed to make it through college without drinking which was quite an accomplishment since my roommates and friends “tied one on” every once in awhile.

Chore I hate: Mopping. I wish someone would invent self-cleaning floors.

Dog or Cat: Cat. Two in fact, Bogey and Bacall.

Essential Electronics: Television/DVD player

Favorite Cologne: I’ve never been all that interested in cologne. I currently use Old Spice body spray, however. Glacial Falls is my favorite.

Gold or Silver: Unfortunately, silver does not work with my coloring, so I have to go with gold, although I am currently wearing a silver watch and a silver chain. But I could never pull off silver framed glasses. They just look bad on me.

Hometown: I was born in “The Table,” but I don’t really have a hometown. I guess I claim wherever I am currently living as my hometown.

Insomnia: Only when I can’t sleep. Just kidding. I have never really suffered from insomnia. For some reason, I have always been able to successfully shut off my brain. And of course, some may say that is its constant state.

Job Title: Assistant Director of Communications. Only because a few years ago someone thought “communications” was more politically correct than “public relations.” I personally tell people that I am a professional butt kisser. I earned my B.A. in B.S.

Kids: One 6-year-old girl. She’s growing up too fast. She will graduate from kindergarten in a few weeks. Of course I tend to agree with Mr. Incredible on his assessment of elementary school graduations … “They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity.”

Living Arrangements: I own my home (sort of) where I live with my wife and child. My wife wants another kid, but I don’t. I tell people we have a very expensive form of birth control … it’s called a two bedroom house.

Most admirable trait: **Gee, I have so many!** I don’t know if it’s admirable, but it’s fun. I consider myself and “equal opportunity insulter.” I pick on everybody from superiors to subordinates. Punching peoples’ buttons is a hobby of mine.

Number of sexual partners: One … but don’t tell my wife … and why are you asking anyway?

Overnight stays in the hospital: One. I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 7 years old. I gave myself my first shot. By my estimation, I have given myself more than 21,000 shots since then. “Look, Ma! No track marks!”

Phobias: Scared of heights and small cramped spaces. So you can imagine that I’m not a big fan of flying. It’s just not natural.

Quote: See Mr. Incredibles' quote above about "celebrating mediocrity."

Religion: Christian

Siblings: None of consequence. But I do have an older sister. I tell people my parents quit when they finally got it right.

Time I wake up: 6 a.m. weekdays and no later than 7:30 on the weekends. I get a back ache if I lay in bed too long. Plus the 6-year-old is a pretty good weekend alarm clock. She has to have her Saturday morning McDonald’s.

Unusual talent or skill: I can wiggle my eyes back and forth really quickly. I have never met anyone else that can do that, so I don’t know what it looks like. I would try to do it in a mirror, but I can’t really see anything when I do it. I’ve been told it looks weird.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Onions. Vile, filthy, abomination of the vegetable kingdom

Worst habit: I bite my nails

Yummy foods I make: I make really good steak burritos of my own design. No onions, though.

Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

3 comments:

SpookyRach said...

Mr. Incredible is soooo right!!

We've been notified that 4th grade graduation takes place soon. I'm sure you'll be there, too.

You didn't tell them about all the fun things you can do with used needles. (they make awsome stealth squirt guns.)

You were probably born ON the table as well as IN "the table".

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Old Spice? ~sighs~ I should have already known that.

4th grade graduation???

I remember practicing giving shots on an orange. My brother never let me give him a shot.

EvylFashionista said...

I found your blog through your sister "Spooky" and have been playing cacth-up. I just had to let you know that I can also vibrate my eyeballs. It grosses out my friends. :-D