Don’t you just love that unsettling feeling you get every time you put on a new pair of glasses? I spent my lunch hour today being fitted for some new specs – sleek black frames that stand out against my reddish hair and reddish complexion.
Huh! I just realized that I am my old high school colors – red and black.
As I was saying, the effect of having the prescription change considerably in one eye while not changing at all in the other provides a somewhat surreal experience while getting used to the new glasses. Throw in a rather accomplished astigmatism and you can completely forgo the PCP. I currently feel like I am living on a Tim Burton movie set. Everything I look at is significantly skewed. Currently, my flat screen, square computer monitor is anything but flat or square.
To explain what I am seeing, take a square piece of paper, grasp the upper right-hand corner between you forefinger and thumb. Now pull diagonally as hard as you can. That’s what the world looks like to me. These words are currently trailing upward toward oblivion. At least I feel like I am going places.
My new surreal surroundings make me feel somewhat like the picture my daughter drew of me this weekend. I have included it for your amusement. If you will notice the spiky, orange hair, that is a tale-tale sign that she has drawn a picture of her beloved father.
However, this particular picture shows me in full drag, wearing lipstick, make-up, mascara and earrings. Not to mention the delicately painted finger and toe nails. Please understand that I don’t generally dress this way. So how did my impressionable young child come across such an idea?
What you can’t see in this picture, the area that has been blurred, is that my daughter addressed it to her babysitter. You’ve met her before on this blog. She’s the girl in the picture.
And to think, I entrust the well-being of my only offspring to this person on a regular basis.